Thursday, October 12, 2006

you work too hard!

a friend posted an email to me revealing a story of a man who suddenly paralyzed due to the fact that he work too much in front of a computer. His hands (which he uses to type) can no longer functin in front of a keyboard... the story says that this was because he work (type) too much... his fingers are working as if they were walking 3 miles each day!!!!!

ok this article spook me up...

i got to thinking.... an i working too much...

and suddenly the answer drop in least expected.....

"'ta kok lo ngomongnya sekarang kerjaan mulu sih?"
a question from a dear friend...
and the answer to that question is... i got nuthin' to talk about except my work...
what i read to day.. what article i'm working on.. the people i meet.... the press con i went to... the book i read...

hiks2
suddenly i realize.. my work is my life....
hiks2....

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

the world, the man. and battered me !

Don't let the world win the fight!
a friend sent me this terrifying message for me.... *sigh*

have you ever find yourself in a battle you didn't start and you (somehow) couldn't end it...
even if you try to pretend it didn't exsist?

that's how my battle against the world look like....
me (not so little-old me) against the big ugly world...
why am i fighting?
well i guess it keeps me from dying....

and few weeks ago... i told my friend ... i'm tired of fighting...
i thingking forfeiting the game by just losing it.....
i'm just gonna let the world win.... (once and for all)
no more fighting.. no more struggle... and no more me....

I didn't know that my friend was listening to me through my horrid detail of the battle...
so i was touched when that perticular friend sent me that message... *sigh*

that got me thinking.....
and memory of the past ran in my head like a stupid re run that i can't switch.....
another time... another friend.... another warning
for me to keep fighting....

wow....
here i am ready to give in...to curl up and die.....
and everybody is there giving me support....

why?
do they like to watch me suffer?
or am i here to show other people that their lives are not so bad?

i hate it when I have to think...
I hate it when I have to write saapy story...
and today I'm doing both....
aughhhhhhh.......

(ps. if you are reading this, ndut... thanks for the sms..... really trully thanks..... i know that you didn't ment it this way.... it's just me being me.. and writing about it.... sorry)