Don't let the world win the fight!
a friend sent me this terrifying message for me.... *sigh*
have you ever find yourself in a battle you didn't start and you (somehow) couldn't end it...
even if you try to pretend it didn't exsist?
that's how my battle against the world look like....
me (not so little-old me) against the big ugly world...
why am i fighting?
well i guess it keeps me from dying....
and few weeks ago... i told my friend ... i'm tired of fighting...
i thingking forfeiting the game by just losing it.....
i'm just gonna let the world win.... (once and for all)
no more fighting.. no more struggle... and no more me....
I didn't know that my friend was listening to me through my horrid detail of the battle...
so i was touched when that perticular friend sent me that message... *sigh*
that got me thinking.....
and memory of the past ran in my head like a stupid re run that i can't switch.....
another time... another friend.... another warning
for me to keep fighting....
wow....
here i am ready to give in...to curl up and die.....
and everybody is there giving me support....
why?
do they like to watch me suffer?
or am i here to show other people that their lives are not so bad?
i hate it when I have to think...
I hate it when I have to write saapy story...
and today I'm doing both....
aughhhhhhh.......
(ps. if you are reading this, ndut... thanks for the sms..... really trully thanks..... i know that you didn't ment it this way.... it's just me being me.. and writing about it.... sorry)
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