secret

it's no secret that i hate secrecy...
i don't like the idea not knowing something before hand,
i feel so insecure not knowing what's ahead
...maybe that the reason why my life is no fun (?)

but this past month, i learn that growing up means that you need to learn to keep secrets...
secrets about your thought, your plans, your feelings..
all those things should be lock up tight in a box, where nobody could touch...

i also learn to not be so surprise, listening to what people think, what people are planning to do and what people are feelings...

damn..
i kindda don't like being a grown up, right about now..

coz, what good does it do when you have thoughts, plans and feelings, if you can't share them? it is what you are, and you shouldn't be ashame of sharing it....

if it's wrong, fine... you are still young and you are still learning about the ways of the world.. and if you are right (though i don't believe that there's right or wrong in thought...) then is good to share them to the rest of the world.. so we can understand each other better...

mmm...
or is it just because i kindda miss my best friend (who's million miles away now), whom i could the tinniest thing without being scared of losing the friendship...



=hey, is just me trying to keep up my existance, by writting something somewhat personal=
 
"saya tipiskan selimut yang menutupi eksistensi saat ini, teman...semoga ndak keberatan, bos"