Thursday, March 29, 2007

Maybe it's enough?

last nite a person who i believe is one of the smartest people in the planet told me
"Maybe being you is enough....."

felt like a tear ready to roll on my cheek, --sigh-- except there's a dirty old guitar playing an off key tune right on my right ear.

These words were said when i was at the lowest point of low.
Ready to give up coz i notice the score board of my life showed that the world wins by a landslide 10 to 0 against me... ... suddenly there a person saying --maybe being me is enogh to get through everything--

being stupid little old me is enough...
mmmm
either she's laying it on thick
or maybe i could get through this by being me..
maybe the world need a rejected items like me to balance the world.
Hey people can't be all smart, pretty and lucky, right?

do you believe in signs?

I'm the kind of person who reads horoscope but never truly believe in 'em.
I'm the kind of person who reads success story but never believe it could happen to me.
I'm the kind of person who loves romance but never truly belive it could happen in the real world.

guess to sum it all up... I'm a non-believer....
well, these past few years i found myself noticing small stuff that made me shiver.
I found out that my life was/is full of signs...
things that i didn't notice until at the end...
BAM.... it hits me in the face....

like for instance, i was accompanying my mom to a chinnese herb shop, and the owner took notice of me and started predicting something about a scholarship in Netherland for me... i just laught to be polite and never really took notice. until the day after that i went back to my school in Bandung and met a friend on the train.... and he gave me an application form for a scholarship from Netherland!!!!

I was, "what?" that's creepy.... i never have any intention of going to that place, so i just ignore it...

after that i keep noticing that lotsa sign were given to me...
i got my first job by applying to an ad in a wrinkled newspaper i'm suppose to throw away...
i got an application form for my master degree the day i was release from the hospital, coincidantely my hospital was across the street from the school and that day was suppose to be the last day to buy the application form......

and plenty more story after that. ....
I'm thankfull for those things, but it kindda freak me out when there's a lot of sign urging me to go to one direction where my heart, soul and body is going th other way...

for a non-beliver like me, all this add more pressure to my brain.....

mmmm....
why can't life be easier?

Friday, March 16, 2007

tarik napas dan tersenyumlah

gue baru kenalan sama olah tubuh yang namanya namanya yoga. dan
ternyata gokil, cara berpikir gue dan tingkat emosi gue jadi menyerupai
orang normal, sekarang. waktu dulu ada orang di kantor gue yang suka
bilang "in with anger, out with love...." Gue pikir omongan itu hanya
becandaan belaka, tapi setelah berkenalan benda bernama teknik
pernapasan dan yoga, gue mengerti bahwa hal itu ngga boong, lho....



sekarang gue tahu arti omongan the shooter 'life's a bitch, and then you die'

kalo akhirnya lo mati juga, why give a shit?

hahaha...... dan akhirnya damailah di hati dan surga di bumi.









Wednesday, March 14, 2007

peri kecil di dada

ada peri kecil yang nunggin di dada

selalu ngingetin gue bahwa masih ada dia

yang bisa bikin hari jadi tersenyum

saat semuanya keliatan abu-abu



... untuk hari2 melelahkan yang enggan beranjak dan membiarkan gue tersenyum sejenak....



Thursday, March 01, 2007

dream a little dream

'If this this world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can bear....."  Cyndi Lauper lyric hits me where it really hurts the most... guess i've taken all that I could bear these day.....no more dreams .. abandon all hopes...


tapi ternyata sahabat masa lalu dengan entengnya ngingetin gue akan semua impian gue jaman dulu dan suddenly i realize i've achieved them all.. and here i'm living in my own dream...


ah... ternyata gue manusia biasa juga....yang lupa sama impian dulu, dan selalu berganti impian setelah satu demi satu impian itu tercapai..... hehehe....


obrolan tengah malam dengan dengan seorang sahabat yang selalu bakal nongkrong di ingatan gue bikin gue sadar... sudah cukuplah gue bermimpi... saat nya berhenti sejenak untuk nyium bunga mawar yang tumbuh di padang rumput dan nikmati hidup...


mmm... ternyata bertemu dengan sahabat lama bisa bikin kita sadar udah sejauh mana kita melangkah dari titik nol dulu,


thx sobat.....